On learning and using German

When I met my German now-husband in London in late 2013, I could barely speak German — unless saying „eine kleine Nachtmusik“ counts (I used to play the violin). In summer 2014, I visited my to-be in-laws for the first time. They live in a picturesque village on the border of Bavaria, Germany and Tirol, Austria surrounded by fields and mountains and the highway. They barely speak English. 

Lunch is an important affair at my in-laws, and I was excited. The table is set with fine white bone china, the silverware arranged just so, the meal usually a lovely roasted meat with vegetables. „Mmm...“ I said. „Ich habe Hunger.“ (I am hungry.) The meal went on, the family had their usual conversations, and my only contribution was usually „Danke“ (thank you) „Bitte“ (you’re welcome, or please) or „Mmmm... Lecker!“ (Yummy!) My mother-in-law offered a generous second serving, and I gladly ate it up. They were a lot like my family, feeding family, friends and guests as much as possible. 

I shouldn‘t have eaten that second serving. That night, before bed, M told me that his mother noticed I gobbled down two sizable servings and commented on my hearty appetite. My belly was still aching from that lunch and the light Abendbrot (bread with cold cuts and cheese) we had for dinner. „I didn‘t know how to stop her!“ I lamented as I lay prone on the bed, trying to soothe my stomach and intestines. I also didn‘t want to be rude and refuse food. It was then that M taught me some of the most useful words to use in his family home. 

At the next day’s lunch, I came prepared. I knew more German than the day before! When the offer for the hearty second portion came around (after I had already eaten a sizable first portion), I confidently declared, „Nein, danke. Ich bin satt!“ (I‘m full!) Laughter all around, and my MIL chuckled as she put the large serving bowl down on the table.

If you would have told me in 2014, that I would be living in German Switzerland with my German husband, learning and using German on a daily basis, I would have laughed. I would have told you that I would be round from all the food I‘ll be eating because all I could communicate in German was my hunger and thirst. But here we are. 

Dessert at the in-laws. Bavarian pastry shops are no joke.

There are certain words and phrases in the handful of foreign languages I‘ve learned and been exposed to over the years that tend to „stick“ over time, no matter how much or how little I continued with the language. 

When I was studying Arabic in university, one of our first lessons (after learning the alphabet) was how to talk about our parents‘ professions. (An odd first lesson, but hey, that‘s how the book series went). Years later, as I encountered colleagues who also studied Arabic using the Al-Kitaab curriculum, we bonded over the sentences about how Maha, the main character of the first book in the series, was incredibly lonely and didn‘t like living in New York, because of the traffic and the humidity (same, Maha). Her father was an employee at the United Nations and her mother was a secretary at the university. These random facts and phrases and pronunciations in Arabic will always stay with me.

The handy little app DuoLingo provided me with some of the most strange yet memorable phrases in German: 

„Ich bin nicht dein Spielzeug!“ (I am not your toy!)

„Halten Sie! Der Bär kommt! (Stop! (though formerly addressed to someone unknown or in authority) The bear is coming!)

„Die Pferde fressen die heilige Kartoffeln.“ (The horses are eating the holy potatoes.)

As I learned German through DuoLingo and regularly visited my German in-laws, it was always amusing to share my latest advances with the German language. More than five years later, I‘m happy to report that our conversations at the dining table have advanced beyond hunger, bears and holy root vegetables and into more mundane every-day things, like how many different birds frequent my MIL‘s many birdfeeders or just how strange Swiss German really is to my German family-in-law‘s ears.

On the contrary, the sentences about bears and potatoes are actually quite relevant now. On the train ride between Thun and Bern, there is a large sign advertising Swiss potatoes (www.kartoffel.ch), and there are three brown bears in the Bern, so maybe I will have a chance to finally use my early German sentences in real life ...